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In Memorandum

Jaxon is my nephew. Jaxon was supposed to have been born on December 31, 2003. He was born today. Instead of being the joyous occasion that it should have been, his birth passed with tears and sorrow. Jaxon never got to see the sun and his parents never got to hear him cry. He had already died and his birth was a formality that brought with it pain and a lot of questions. I am sure that his parents are, even now, questioning what they could have done differently and if it would have changed the outcome. I question that and there really isn't anything that I could have done. I hope that they will eventually come to the understanding that there is nothing that they could have done to change what happened. I am not sure that we will ever know why this happened, but the most important thing to remember is that it isn't anyone's fault. It just happened.

While I normally rant and rave about things in other forums, there are a couple of things that I have to say here. During the day today, I have come in to contact with several types of people that have tried to offer advice or have mimicked some words that they heard someone else say in the past. At this point, I have some advice for these people.

First of all, the next person that tells me that it was for the best or that God had a plan for Jaxon is liable to get hit. You are wrong. If it was for the best, Jaxon would have lived. And I'm sorry, but I have a really hard time that any God would have planned to put people through the type of pain that they are going through now. To me, this type of thing should be enough to make the most devout person look up at the sky and yell, "You suck!"

Secondly, I want to speak about people who are hell bent on making this situation about themselves. There are two people out there that this is specifically directed at and I'm not sure if you will ever even realize that this is about you. In circumstances like this, you have to let go of things and be there for the people that really need it. Specifically, the people that need our love and support right now are Jaxon's parents and siblings. If you want to be useful, stand by quietly and be there for them. Let them drive the conversation to things that they need to talk about. It may seem trivial, but that is what they need. What you need is secondary and somewhat unimportant right now.

Lastly, I want to say to those people who have expressed sympathy, even to me, thank you. Rest assured that all of this will be passed on the Jaxon's parents and I hope that they feel the support that they need right now.

Dana, Pat, Jeffrey and Jillian... All I can say is that I am deeply sorry for your loss and that my thoughts are with you.

Comments

Where to place fault is always a struggle and I too have problems when people say it was Gods plan. I don't believe that it is Gods plan for anyone to die I do believe that sometimes bad things happen to good people and there is no reason. I only hope that there is enough faith to know that Jaxon will be taken care of and will be loved by God as he is by his parents. I also hope that their faith gives them an anchor to hold on while the deal with the pain of his loss.

Why does there always have to be blame. Bad things happen no reason,no blame they just happen.

I too grieve with Pat,Dana, Jeffrey and Jillian and am keeping them in my prayers asking for peace and healing in their lives.

God Bless Jaxon, and bring an end to tears for all who grieve for his passage. Whether anyone reads this or not, our prayers go out as well.

Norb & Becky

Thank you for your kind words. On August 1 2003 our wished for baby Jaxon Patrick Augustine passed quickly through our lives taking with him the hopes and dreams we had for him. We will hold him in our hearts forever.
***A PERSON'S A PERSON NO MATTER HOW SMALL***
Dr. Seuss

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